My Moods for 2010

Hello My Blog Stalkers!!! First of all, Wish you a super duper 2010!

After a hell lot of persuasion from within and from you people, here I am back to writing, hopefully with the same kind of zing. The New Year started as usual! I danced with friends, forced my Pappu dear to dance and blabbered like never before! These days for your kind information, I talk so much that maybe I’ve no energy and matter left to be jotted down.

The year that said Alvida

Call it THE year of my life, or the only year of my life that contained life transforming events that not only surprised me, but also were accompanied by dreams and nightmares. I celebrated every day with the same amount of josh. I’d decided to give personalized gifts to people and I could keep up to this resolution of mine. 2009 was one year in which I learnt so much. The see-saws of give & take, win & lose, live & die, and finally laughter & tears could be said to be in a state of equilibrium in 2009. A journey that I shall never forget! The closest-elements of my life had come to life and life was lit up with halogens this time around!

The year that stands ahead

I’ve promised myself only one thing! And that one thing further relates to many others!

TALK LESS!

Benefit 1:

If I shall talk less, I will consume lesser energy that will further result in serious prohibition of a bad habit – “Hogging at odd hours!” This would automatically control my dietary habits and I do hope to lose a few more kilos.

Benefit 2:

Whenever I talk, I just talk my mind out without really sensitizing my words according to others’ whims, which is for sure, the worst way of people handling. If I talk in a controlled manner, I would not hurt too many people, which follows that people will start liking and respecting me more. Radz- You can just talk to yourself!

Benefit 3:
I’ll get to blog because there’ll always be something left to share with you people. Words have never failed me and I feel a sincere sense of duty towards them. I’m the writing types, so I guess a person should do what he has been crafted for!

Benefit 4:

If I talk less, I also think slightly lesser. The more I talk, the more I ponder over things and most of the times also feel remorseful about the same. My tongue is as sharp as the ‘khukri (Nepali Knife)’ and it just needs to tone down a little.

Benefit 5:

Talking less surely avoids fights. The more you talk, the more you get involved, the more you delve deeper into the issue and the end result is just a boiling hot discussion. So talk less, fight less!

After all these benefits, I don’t think I should be writing the disadvantages! But I guess all the New Year resolutions only hold true from January 2. So let me just talk talk and talk more for one last time!

Talking less means proportionate decrease in expressing my feelings. Talking less, means keeping more to yourself and suffering alone. Talking less, means being less heard by your folks, which I feel is like cheating yourself. Talking less can also be compared to not having a say in any situation –which me being a strong headed individual generally have! I like to opinionate at times! Talking less, means more time to hog! Talking less means more passive time to think and think more! Talking less means giving the others a chance to talk – which makes me feel like – “Train will go off if I don’t speak out!” Talking less, means being tagged as composed – which I’m of course not!

So, you see what I mean! It’s super difficult for a girl like me to make such kind of a resolution. But still, let me give it a try. As you grow up, so should your thoughts and the spirit of giving should be enhanced for sure. I need to give a chance to the rest to speak! I should outgrow my fantasies and wrong beliefs of the train leaving me. I won’t travel alone and hence, there will always be someone to pull the chain and stop the train for me! Ha ha!

Anyway, effectiveness is the key. The expressions of mine that you see in this collage signify that I’ll try to be more effective in my talking and working. Talk less but talk effectively. Act less, but whatever Nautanki you do – do it soulfully! Work less, but make it seem that you’re sweating it out.....Eat Less, Weigh Less, Look into the mirror less, fight with your parents less, ...etc etc etc LESS!

But just one thing....

Keep loving and admiring this beautiful life endlessly and even yourself more with each passing day! If you stop doing that, you’re a criminal, more dangerous than even a terrorist!

Good Luck to all my Not-So-Terrorist Buddies!Love You!

When you start using pens, pencils seem better!

Haven’t you all noticed that when you now pick up the pencil of a young cousin and scribble something, the writing being produced is beautifully legible??

When you taste the new chocolates in the market, don’t you miss the taste of Nestle chocolate that you can no longer find on the stands?

Haven’t you felt that being a pillion was so much more comfortable that being the rider 24 * 7 and straining your back?

(Clicked while on our way to Bodhgaya)

Yes, we all have felt these pangs from within sometime or the else. Basically, as they say that “grass on the other side is always greener” and “you understand the value of things only with time”, you do realize the goodness of things and people when you’ve moved ahead, and gone so far that there isn’t even any scope to look back.

The games I played on Windows 95, or the togetherness of travelling as a family on our Kinetic or even the way I used to be so regular and neat during the school days seems to have gone with the wind. A few days back I became so nostalgic while covering the books of my cousins, that I’ve promised to myself that if I don’t have any job, I’m surely going to cover children’s books for free..(He He).

Dilemma all the way.... Experience Vs. experimentation

Why is it that only when you have all the knowledge that you don’t need to make any major decisions and when you are raw and just so much of clay still, do you have to take great decisions like that of your career, your life etc etc....Experience or experimentation is the essence of life is still unknown to me... I do feel at times that when we were small, it used to such a happy moment to see your friend wearing something new or distinctive, anyhow these days when you find extremely prim, proper and polished individuals, you’re rather jealous of either them flaunting their what we call “so-called attitude”!

I guess it runs in every generation to cling on to their ways or beliefs. You never like the past or the future ones and there arises the “Gen Gap”!

You move on and things change...

Anyhow, guess things happen for the best only! The later games made my reflexes go berserk in seconds, the new ways of commuting and meeting people after months is also bliss and so has the irregularity in my life become adorable. There was a time when I was totally independent ( with regards to no dependence on cellphone, computer, personal vehicle, money.........to infinity), but today I’m crutched with the inevitable things which I doubt even any strong willed person could do away with....You better be a Saint to refrain from all these....

The Balancing Act!

I guess I’m writing this post as all the good times of life are flashing as I am just about to step out of my teens and become a more grown, a supposedly matured ( I’m still a kid guys) and understanding individual.

Hope He endows me with the strength to actually pick up the best from the past and give the best to the future by being the best in the present!

Keep Thinking...Give me answers if you can...!!!

Bhaage re mann kahin....Pehli Baarish!

Hello all......It’s been ages that I’ve jotted down something and I’m so sorry for the uncalled for break in my writing routine....The writer in me was sleeping for some reason and it was hard to find the driving force that propelled me to write .....I’m back though to trouble you with my troubled thoughts and not so troubled life’s trivia...

This is just a small incident that happened when I was on my building’s terrace – the place I love the most at this given moment. It faces an open land with only trees and no construction and I’ve this place where I sit for hours....on the steps that lead to the engineered (new word in my lexicon..) portion of the water tank. This throne faces the jittering cityscape and you actually feel like you’re ruling the city.

I generally sit there with a bottle of chilled water, a few papers and coloured pens, my iPod and my cell. All this to create the mood and prove to myself that I’ve a philosopher streak in me as I always think way too much than necessary...As I started listening to those fixed 7-8 songs out of the thousands on my iPod, I wondered about the movie I’d just seen a few minutes before...The Illusionist(I loved it!). It was about illusions and illusions and more illusions...Anyhow, coming to my story – as it would happen in Hindi movies.......it was around 6.00pm and there came a windy storm and it started raining cats and dogs! Wow.....it was the “Pehli Baarish”....when your heart is expected to go Hmmmmmmmmm...................

The wind current was so strong that I felt like I should go dancing with my arms wide open. It was the perfect scene – heavy rains, kids playing footy in ‘keechad’(wet earth) and me alone there. Anyway, I had to get back home..Mom calling out and all that...You know it people!

Anyhow, I made some popcorn and sat by the windowsill to enjoy the beautiful scene....Let just my pictures speak this time....I love rains!

That's the view from my room!

My Balcony!

Crowd collecting!

Garden Beauty...!

Gosh...I wrote this shit..Ha Ha...Happiness Mantra

Staying happy is the key mantra to decipher the biggest mystery called “LIFE”!

It doesn’t take much!

A kilogram of smile, a fresh emotion and the will to stay happy can be called the pillars of sustenance in this nerve wrecking and the so called ‘busy world’ of ours. Jimmy doesn’t have time to hug his mother, nor does Nina know how to greet her elders. This super fast world has not left an iota of space for mediocrity and you’ve got to prove your wits in any arena you step. Put the word ‘value’ in front of a teen and pat will come the answer – “You talking about the face value or the monetary value?” This is exactly where we all stand. Somewhere in the run to make our pockets heavy and own the Mercedes, we’ve forgotten to smile, to joke, to laugh and to enjoy the small joys of life.

Wish the meaning and true essence of happiness could be explained in the books and the people could understand the importance of staying alive at one’s heart. The world seems to be overloaded with drudgery, sadness and melancholy that seem to prevail incessantly in all walks of one’s life. Adjustments have become a thing of the past and it’s all about forcing your way through everything, to get success by hook or crook as they say it. Who has the time to look back once at his family and children while leaving for work, who has the time to call on someone just to share a little gossip or more so, who has the time to look at a stranger and give him a pleasing smile.

The world has grown to be everything about “I, Me and Myself!” All want to outperform their capacity to carve out a niche for themselves in this highly competitive and ruthless world.

What to do?

Happiness can be derived from the smallest things of life. It can be the contentment of solving a problem or the emotion of helping someone, making a great card for your dad or gifting yourself your favorite perfume. Self awareness can also expedite the complete process to a great extent. If one has the discretionary ability to judge what’s right and what’s wrong for oneself, one would never have to frown.

“Wishing for more is excellent, but craving for the same is equivalent to a sin. “....

Radz-The Philosopher

Being in your self decided boundaries is a must if you wish to stay happy. Always try choosing a career that involves your interest. Aptitude should be given a backseat at this time as interest can breed aptitude, but the vice versa is not quite true. Try involving yourself in activities that make you smile. It could anything from exercising at the gym, spending time with apartment children, drawing, surfing the net or talking to your best pal. Take out certain time of the day to read through your favorite book or put up your best make-up. Meet up regularly with your friends or spend a night under the stars with your loved ones. Experiment with as many things possible as it will open newer doors and it’ll undoubtedly help you explore the inner instincts of creativity.

Just shut your mind and heart to the false that is prevalent in the world and create a world of your own that is practical and in which you always remain smiling. Do not postpone tasks and hence, this doing will help you recover from any problem much faster. Never sleep with a doubt in your mind and always plan out things and try working the plan out.

Happiness is the world and this world is yours! Keep Smiling!

MY KINDA GUY...

As they say that the world is round, I again come back to talking about love, life and MY MAN! The other day I was just scanning all the old photographs and saw my dad all fresh and with the “all-set” attitude. (For Pappa -My fetish for army men doesn’t seem to die anyway!)

Now generally, all my close friends know what I want my guy to be like! To tell the rest, let me acquaint you with ‘MY KINDA GUY’! It’s going to be slightly confusing, but I hope I can get it all across rightly...I would hate to go ‘Guy Hunting’ and would really adore if he just happens to me...

First and foremost, he should be a man who’s sensitive at times to understand I’m a woman and who’s man enough to tell me at times that, “Look woman, you’re a woman!

This fellow needs to be one who can stand by me even after all the moody tantrums I tend to throw every now and (‘nautanki’ company as I’m called) then make up for all those crocodile tears of mine. See all the adjustment s**t I wouldn’t like to quote because I would love to have a guy who likes to fight and come to a consensus. I don’t believe too much in the ‘funda’ of ‘CHANGE’ also. You should really live together to understand how different someone can be and how you can survive with that totally different being! The fellow should be adventurous at heart and should be up to something or the else at every second...! I like cunning and witty people who can give it back in all the glory compensating for what you gave them in the first place....

Okay my mom’s grinning behind....She knows her daughter has just lost it...

I don’t like pretentious people. Someone down to earth and straightforward is sure to make me go weak in my knees. The man in my life should be a mess when it comes to children. I feel that any man should just know what the “INDIAN SOCIETY” expects him to know and nothing more. The fellow should be one who just wishes to go for long rides at any time of the day and should be anti-PDA....ha ha...This is a major pre-requisite!

Rest, I don’t think I’m asking for more......I want someone nice....someone with whom I would feel at home ......God bless me and my fantasies!

The Butterflies of Life...

I’d actually started scripting a book on this topic, but then somewhere 20 pages down, I realised that I should just write a blogpost and close the talk forever and ever! ....

Part – 1

Are good people butterflies or am I one?

Bright sun overhead, gentle breeze caressing my face, swaying trees, chirping birds, open grasslands with small water bodies, some mountains with schism like deep valleys, slight drizzle and a bright rainbow – That’s the Garden of my Life!

Oh! Guess I forgot one thing – BUTTERFLIES!

These butterflies are the most important part of my garden. Some are bright and colourful and light up my face when they come close...Others are in shades of white and black and hang around me like moronic miniatures. So subtly, all the butterflies move around in my life’s garden and add maximum possible shades and hues to it!

My garden has a crore butterflies and I’m the only alive person in there!

There is no concept of time that binds me with its fetters and chains down my complete schedule. All my time(I don’t know what to call it-maybe LIFE) is spent observing and interacting with these butterflies. They’ve mattered to me more than anything else in my life. My Ma & Pa are two permanent colourful fixtures of my garden!

Others are friends, relatives, acquaintances and rest of the world! There are some magnificent butterflies whose wings are painted with perfect finesse. They enter your life as angels – I mean angel butterflies! They have a prominent halo stuck on their head and their constant positive vibe radiation affirms you with all the surety you’ve ever expected....

They enter your life with a promise to stick on till the end, and as life goes on, they start changing their colours...Oh God.!

To be continued ...

The best I could ever feel...

This girl was such a whiff of happiness in my life....a very beautiful chapter that seems to be lost in wilderness....! I still adore her dearly.....

This beautiful hand-made card of this then 17 yr old had me in tears...It was a card meant for August 3, 2008(Friendship's Day)....Trust me..I've met gems through the course of my life! The glitter used in this card, still lights up my life with all the shimmer!
Next page...Next world...
Pg 4. - The most beautiful she could make.....those not so straight lines I assume are deliberate efforts from her side to tell me that she loves me the most innocent way possible!

If I could even pay back an iota of what happiness she's lent me with this card, I would be the first one to extend my hand....I read it every day and feel so beautiful....We've not spoken like before since Sept 2008 and I miss her from the bottom of my heart....God bless you for being so special!